1. I found myself imagining while I’m in the site (I think it’s related to that chaos) and listening to my friend, Omid and console him and cry with him while not realizing that they are there!
2. I imagined M.S in the site is telling them about my love for Ahmad Azizi and says that I had cried for him when he passed.
3. I imagined myself remaining silent while H.L speaks to me!
4. I imagined that M.M had seen me in that Congress while laughing and exiting!
1. It indicates that I need to be shown as a kind man to catch their attention! And it also compensates the very fact that in that chaos I was offensive!
2. It indicates that I want to make a reason for my insisting on posting from that book while she didn’t liked it!
3. Maybe I wanted to find a common point with her or show off and feign to be a smart man!
4. This gives me that inattention joy and also with the company of that type of laughter that I have realized its beauty before it endears me to her.
1. Last night I don’t know exactly why and how I went to hossein panahi again but it had a huge influence on me that I went out for walk at midnight! I cried last night till morning thinking about my childhood sufferings most! Maybe it remind me of past!
2. Also Mehran Modiri telling Nasrollah Radesh about him being good hearted relived me from some strife related to me and my father!(for me my apology post and for my father …) , but I think I shouldn’t be happy of this!
All I do is according to give pleasure to the ego! It would be good if I can control it even if I not able to slay it. Perhaps the world would be absurd without that evil!